My First Solo Travel Trip Was An Accident
The thought of traveling alone as a woman can be both intimidating and terrifying. And yet the women who have done it will tell you it’s absolutely worth stepping out of your comfort zone and taking that risk. But how do we end up traveling alone in the first place? What pushes those of us who have travelled alone to actually go somewhere new without anyone else? For many solo travelers, myself included, traveling alone wasn’t the original plan. We had planned the trip with friends, but for one reason or another those friends dropped out and we had to make a decision - cancel or go alone.
My first solo trip was during my last year of college. I had signed up for a 10K in Charleston, South Carolina with the intention of going with my friends who did this race every year. Only, once I registered, I learned that my friends weren’t going that year!
And I was faced with the question: “Am I enough of a reason to take this trip?”
I thought about all the independent women I knew, the ones who didn’t sit around waiting for others to validate their dreams, but took control of their lives and went after what they wanted.
Was I intimidated and scared at times? Yes. Did I worry about what other people were thinking about me? Yup. Was that all worth it in the end? Absolutely.
I’ve asked a few other solo travelers to share their accidental solo travel adventures. I hope you enjoy their stories and are able to gain a little bit of courage to make that jump yourself.
A great way to jump into solo travel is (Un)Pack Your Bags, our upcoming semi-virtual retreat June 25-27. Sign up Here!
STRANDED IN MEXICO
Shelly of Travel Mexico Solo
Jokingly, I tell people I became a solo traveler by accident. Really, it happened when my travel buddy decided to return home prematurely from our trip, and I kind of got ditched!
We were on what was supposed to be a gap year in our careers, both determined to become location independent digital nomads. We landed in Mexico City in April 2018, and stayed two months before heading to Playa del Carmen, one of the best cities for digital nomads in Mexico.
Somewhat out of the blue, and just four months into a trip intended to be twelve, my travel buddy got a lucrative job offer back home in Miami. To my surprise, shock and awe, he took it — and was leaving me with about 48 hours’ notice.
He felt bad and offered to buy me a plane ticket back, so I wouldn't have to travel alone. Fueled by anger, I turned down the ticket, and decided I'd try solo travel.
Looking back, him leaving so abruptly was in fact a blessing in disguise because I didn’t have time to think about how scared I might be. I just knew I needed to find an apartment for myself ASAP because he would be leaving so soon.
I've been blogging about solo travel in Mexico for some time now, and I see the same “I'm too shy/introverted,” “I'll be lonely,” “I'm not brave enough” sentiments come up enough to know that many women simply talk themselves out of even trying. For me, not having the time to think (and overthink) all those thoughts, made it possible to try.
I never intended to be a solo traveler, but when the moment came, the thought of returning home early seemed so much worse than traveling alone. In the end, I had to ask myself: “Who wants to stop traveling before they have to?” The answer was: Not me!
THE ROCKIES ON MY OWN
Jyoti of Story At Every Corner
My first solo trip was to the Colorado Rockies while my husband was on a business trip and the kids were busy with other things.
I was hoping to go with friends, but although they were very interested, the dates wouldn’t work for any of them.
So it was me with my favorite backpack and camera on a summer trip to Colorado and Rocky Mountain National Park. While I’ve traveled to many exotic destinations with other people, this was a trip full of memories to last a lifetime.
I had my hesitations. I wondered if I’d enjoy the trip or be bored by myself. I wondered if I’d have too much inertia and stay in my room, or if I would actually get up and go do something each morning. I had too many questions and doubts. But I pushed along for the adventure and got on that flight.
And at that point, there was no looking back.
I made friends with another solo traveler who had been a foster mom. She had cared for hundreds of kids and adopted several. I knew I was out of my bubble, and I continued making friends through the trip with people from different backgrounds and stories. It was exhilarating.
My most exciting experience on the trip was outdoor rock climbing in the Garden of the Gods. It was something we would never do as a family, but on the solo trip I got to pick what I wanted to do. I went on hikes and took long drives. I took the detours and ate at hippy vegan restaurants.
I did things on a whim that I wouldn’t have imagined doing otherwise. I think that anyone who decides to take a solo trip will get to discover themselves, just like I did.
PARIS ALONE
Shobha of Just Go Places
My first solo trip was to Paris, France.
Working as a lawyer in a big New York City firm, I didn’t have much free time. Being both a junior associate and single, my vacation days were last on the list. You didn’t want to upset your colleagues by taking school holidays off because those days were usually taken by people with children. Moreover, you couldn’t take days off when you had transactions closing or busy times of the year.
All the restrictions meant I had a fairly limited range of vacation days. It was suggested that I take a week off between transactions in March, but none of my friends had time off at that time. But I had always wanted to go to Paris, and the romantic notion of Paris in the springtime appealed to me, so I decided to go on my own.
I was a little worried because it was my first trip out of the country on my own. I also didn’t speak any French or know anyone in Paris. I definitely didn’t tell my parents that I was traveling alone to a foreign country because they would have had a complete panic attack.
With my French guidebook and a Paris museum pass, I booked myself on a cheap flight. Paris hotels are expensive, but I found a small single room in the 7th arrondissement, which made it easy to walk everywhere. Alternatively, I was near the French metro stops which are easy to use with color coded lines. And it turned out that my lack of French wasn’t actually a problem at all.
The trip was absolutely wonderful! I got to do all the things I wanted to do without having to worry about someone else’s schedule or interests. I geeked out on museums and walked the world’s first elevated park, the Parisian Promenade Plantee, long before the High Line in New York became a thing. I also people-watched to my heart’s content because being alone and unknown felt liberating. Without a dining companion, I found myself eating at markets, cafes and from supermarkets, stuffing myself silly with French bread, cheese, and yogurt.
I definitely felt an overwhelming sense of agency and freedom on this trip, which was rare for me because of my work.
SINGLE IN SOUTH AMERICA
Lozzy of Cuppa to Copa Travels
I began my travels with my partner, and I fully expected to finish my travels with my partner. Had I not had a boyfriend by my side, I would never have dreamed of travelling through unknown lands.
I was so terrified of solo travel that I stayed in an unhappy relationship far longer that I should have, but when I eventually took the plunge after a very mutual decision to break up a little over 2 years into our travels around Latin America, I only wished I’d been brave enough sooner.
My view is that every serious couple should travel together at least once. It’s the ultimate stress test. You’ll either become a tighter team, or you’ll experience an acceleration of a natural realisation of incompatibility.
Once we broke up, in a suffocating (but thankfully private) hostel room in Nicaragua, my family begged me to come straight home. They’d pay for the flight, they’d wrap me in blankets, and they’d be a shoulder to cry on. I appreciated this, but something told me that would feel like defeat. I didn’t have much time left until my planned journey home, and I wanted to reclaim at least a small part of my travels for myself.
I quickly realised that it’s actually much easier to make friends when you travel solo, that solo females especially look out for each other, and that travel is a whole different experience when you only have to please yourself.
Yes, there were lonely times when I just didn’t feel connected to anyone around me, and times when I felt like even just going to the shop alone was a big challenge, but this was completely made up for by the freedom I felt, the friendships I formed and the opportunity to relearn how to be independent. Now I can’t wait to travel solo again!
PASSPORT PRIVILEGED
Arabela Of The Spicy Travel Girl
My boyfriend and I had been planning to visit the Philippines together. We had recently met in Malaysia and were about to start university together in China, so we were in the height of our honeymoon stage and looking for a romantic couple’s getaway somewhere nearby, cheap, and exotic. We finalized our plans while we were still in Malaysia, booked our flights, and booked stays in dreamy resorts across the country.
As an international couple, our biggest restriction to traveling together is obtaining visas. While my German passport allows me to visit many countries visa-free, my Pakistani boyfriend faces extreme discrimination when it comes to international travel and is required to go through long, dreadful visa application processes every time he wants to travel abroad. Being well aware of this obstacle, we made sure to research the Philippines’ visa policy and apply for the visa as soon as we received our China residence permit.
After having checked all the documents multiple times and writing a convincing cover letter, we confidently went to the Philippine consulate in Shanghai, just to be told that due to an unexpected issue, my boyfriend would not get his visa on time, although we had initially been told it would not take longer than four working days.
I cried out front of the consulate as all our romantic plans were shattered but eventually decided to make the best out of my already booked plans and embarked on a solo trip to the Philippines.
It turned out to be one of my most rewarding travel experiences ever! I got to meet people from all walks of life, catch up with old friends, visit the most beautiful tropical beaches, and experience kindness even in parts of the country that were considered dangerous to visit. Although I missed my boyfriend, I’m so glad I still went.
ALONE IN EGYPT
Pamela of The Directionally Challenged Traveler
During my sophomore year of college, a group of friends and I were planning on spending two weeks exploring Europe. At the beginning of the planning process, there were six of us traveling together. After about a month, two friends dropped out due to the cost of the trip. As the planning commenced, the other two dropped out because we couldn’t agree on an itinerary. This chain of events led the last person to no longer have interest in the trip, so I was on my own.
Once I realized that if I was going to travel I was going to have to travel alone, I was scared. There are so many inspiring solo travel stories, but could I be one of them? If so, should I take the same trip or believe my friends when they said they'll go another time? After about a week of internal debating and reading hundreds of travel blogs, I realized that yes, I could travel solo - to anywhere I wanted (within my college-student budget).
Once I made the decision to travel, I took out a physical map and thought of all the cool places in the world that I could see. I wanted somewhere exotic, but not too exotic, historical but not boring, warm but not too warm. I know, I was searching for a unicorn. Luckily, it came in the form of Egypt. It was perfect. I could see the last Ancient Wonder of the World, take a cruise down the Nile River, and experience a new culture.
It was when I was riding a camel to the Pyramids (now that I know more about unethical treatment of animals, I do NOT recommend this), that I realized the world has so much to offer. That night, I made it my goal to visit all seven continents before I turned 30 (ten years from the trip). I achieved it in 7 years and have no intention of slowing down.
An editor's note: I asked Pamela if her friends ever got around to taking that trip. She told me it's been 11 years and they still haven't taken that trip to Europe.
How did your first solo trip happen?
Let us know in the comments below!
